Wednesday, October 20, 2010

"Don't Take Anything Personally" (repost)

I have a hot and cold friend. One minute he can't wait to hang out with me. Sends me emails. Calls me. Then all of a sudden. No phone calls. No emails. No lunch invitations. I suddenly go from Rock Star to the Ugly Girl at The Dance. I literally rack my brain trying to figure out what I did or didn't do. I take what he does or doesn't do personally. I feel like such a fraud as I write this post. I take everything personally.

Have you heard about "The Four Agreements"? One of the 4 agreements is "Don't Take Anything Personally". Below I posted The Four Agreements along with scriptures and quotes. I pray that they are helpful to you. I need to read these at least once a day.

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Matthew 5:37 (The Message)
"And don't say anything you don't mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, 'I'll pray for you,' and never doing it, or saying, 'God be with you,' and not meaning it. You don't make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say 'yes' and 'no.' When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong.

“Words should be used as tools of communication and not as a substitute for action”

2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

Acts 7:59-60 (New International Version)
While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." Then he fell on his knees and cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." When he had said this, he fell asleep.

Matthew 18:21-22 (New International Version)
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times

Luke 23:34 (New International Version)
Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."[a] And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

QTIP: stands for Quit Taking It Personally.

3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.


Mark 2:15-17 (New International Version)
While Jesus was having dinner at Levi's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" were eating with him and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. When the teachers of the law who were Pharisees saw him eating with the "sinners" and tax collectors, they asked his disciples: "Why does he eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?" On hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

Luke 10:25-28 (The Message)
Just then a religion scholar stood up with a question to test Jesus. "Teacher, what do I need to do to get eternal life?" He answered, "What's written in God's Law? How do you interpret it?" He said, "That you love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and muscle and intelligence—and that you love your neighbor as well as you do yourself." "Good answer!" said Jesus. "Do it and you'll live."

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

2 Timothy 2:15 (New International Version)
Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth

Colossians 3:23 (The Message)
Servants, do what you're told by your earthly masters. And don't just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you'll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you're serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn't cover up bad work.

“Whatever you are, be a good one.” Abe Lincoln


  1. Excellent post. I'm a pretty sensitive guy too, which I know is not completely bad because of what God has called me to do, but you're right, if we take everything personally it's bondage and misguided. Love all the points, but I appreciate hearing again that our best can fluctuate based on what we are going through. We can let God be the judge and we'll just be faithful.

    Thanks Mike. You bless me and I appreciate you.

  2. This is great Mike. I thought of a quote I heard recently from Bill Johnson which fits with #2:

    "If you don't live by the praises of men, then you won't die by their criticisms".

  3. Thanks for that... I needed it today.

  4. This is great! I like that QTIP to remember. :) Glad I took Jason's suggestion to read this.

  5. Mike I really love this. I just shared this link in Facebook.

  6. By the way Mike - are you on Facebook? We are giving you all kinds of "props" and I can't find your facebook profile any where.